there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize