You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
