hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
