Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
