Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
