After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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