I'm so fucking centered right now
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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