i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
How many fucks given?
0.12846
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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