Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
