oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
