I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
