when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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