LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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