Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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