Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
