I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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