my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize