Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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