i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
