Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
