I was born with a shot glass in my hand
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize