beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
