so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
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There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
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the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
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