I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
All I want is dick and wine.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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