i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
