best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
