i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
