he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
