She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
