No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
