a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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