What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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