FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
