If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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