I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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