how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize