I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I smell like Dick and happiness
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
the raccoons are back...
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