i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
even my farts smell like vagina
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
