he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
