Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm too high and old for this...
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
