It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
