Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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