I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
