the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
