I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Randomize
