Define "chronic" masturbator.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
