Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
