There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
