the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
