apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
