So drunk its hurt
Michael Bay diarrhea
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
