Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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