and i looked up. we had an audience...
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize