Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize