Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
