I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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