Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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