Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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