hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
