if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
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