I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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