Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
