is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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