Its about making memories worth repressing
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
