You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
